Couples’ games unhealthy for kids of divorce

On behalf of The Walters Law Group, Ltd. posted in Divorce on Wednesday, February 13, 2013.

Divorce is not easy for anyone one, but when Chicago couples have kids there’s a little more to worry about. When people are hurt and disappointed about the failure of their marriage, it can be hard for parents not to reveal some of the sour feelings they have been nursing toward their ex-spouse. Still, it is important that parents do their best to try and keep things civil during times when crossing paths is unavoidable.

Some divorced partners are fortunate enough to stay friends after the dust settles, but not everyone can handle that type of relationship. But no matter what animosity is there between you, it is important to put it aside. Some suggest looking at the new relationship with your ex as you would look at an annoying coworker you must work with. School or social functions may require that you both be there for your child during an important day in their lives. Even if you’re not best buds, be civil and remember it’s not about you.

One upping is another popular divorce games couples should avoid. This is where couples will sometimes buy a child gifts that the other parent can’t afford in order to win a child’s loyalty. Again, it’s not about you. Coordinating gift giving and setting guidelines is a good way to stay on the same page with this issue after the divorce.

If you are still hurting or angry about the behavior of your ex, find the proper place to vent when your kids aren’t around. Having to defend one parent to another or being asked to criticize a parent is a difficult thing for any child, no matter what their age. Negotiation can be hard with an ex, but it is important to put forth an effort and get help when you need it, so you and your children can continue to move forward.

Source: Huffington Post, “No More Ex Games,” Lois Tarter, Jan. 26, 2013