“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love.”
-Jennifer Weiner
Couples may go through a lot of challenges in their married life. A heated argument, a betrayal or a rocky patch may land their marriage in hot water. However, some couples outgrow these problems, whereas others emotionally drift away from each other. Emotional detachment acts as the death knell for a marriage. This is when divorce seems like an inevitable conclusion to end marital woes.
Do you feel disconnected from your partner?
Have you lost faith in your marriage?
If it seems like your marriage has fallen apart, salvaging the broken relationship is beyond your scope, and you simply don’t know how to go about taking the right decision, here are a few things that can help you with it.
Here are a few major signs of an impending divorce.
1. No Attempts to Mend the Broken Relationship
Many couples tend to stay in broken relationships owing to the false sense of responsibility that they feel. If you have no desire to salvage the marriage or none of you are willing to go the distance, divorce may, perhaps, be the best solution.
If your partner doesn’t care enough to repair the damaged relationship, it could be because they have withdrawn from the relationship emotionally. It’s not just about ignoring trivial things, but if your partner is unfettered by the fact that your relationship is on the rocks, that’s when you need to take the cue and act accordingly. Disengagement from your or your partner’s side can make you feel like you’re participating in something that you no longer believe in. Most importantly, emotional shutdowns often tend to be unfixable.
2. Lack of Respect
The institution of marriage is based on mutual respect. Without respect, marriage does not have a leg to stand on. That can only lead the relationship into a toxic state.
If you or your partner constantly feel rejected and dismissed, or one of you is condescending towards each other, divorce is certainly on the horizon. Excessive negative interactions with your spouse clearly indicate that things aren’t working out and it’s time for you to contact a divorce attorney.
3. Betrayal
More often than not, trust in a relationship cannot be rebuilt, if damaged. In many cases, no amount of coaxing or marriage counselling has helped mend a relationship wherein trust has been breached.
A healthy relationship needs high levels of integrity to thrive. When that is lost, it shakes the foundation of the relationship right away. Moreover, the lies and the denials that are used to cover up a transgression can further worsen the situation.
It is important to understand that infidelity occurs when there is something dreadfully wrong with the relationship or one of the partners, and it is a strong indicator that it may be time to end the marriage.
4. Other Signs Indicating Divorce
- The relationship seems to have become one-sided, and your partner is no more willing to fulfill your needs – physical, emotional or spiritual.
- Both of you have tried several times to get your relationship back on track, but that didn’t work out. Even marriage counseling didn’t do any good.
- You’re being physically, verbally or emotionally abused. It is better to get out of such a situation as quickly as possible.
- Your partner is not willing to confront the problems in your relationship. They think that you are unnecessarily complicating matters. If that’s the case, you will never be able to improve your relationship.
- You may care deeply about your partner, but, the conflicts relating to differences in values and ideologies may come in the way of your relationship. You both may have diverse ideas of what you want from your lives, the values you care about, and the future you foresee for yourself and your family. In such a case, nobody is wrong, but you’re just not right for each other.
- If either one of you is addicted to alcohol, gambling, sex, or drugs, then this can create tremendous unrest in the relationship for as long as the addiction is not treated. The marriage will continue to erode unless the addict seeks professional help and works through the issue. Addiction is a terrible and devastating disease, and sometimes, the best thing to do is walk away and protect yourself and your children.
- As a couple, both of you have stopped being transparent, started making assumptions about one another, and no longer feel the need to share things with each other.
- If both of you are bringing your children into your arguments, instead of sorting out your differences constructively, then it’s certainly time to call it quits in your marriage.
Conclusion
Ending your marriage can not only be difficult but one of the most painful experiences you may ever have to go through. However, if you find yourself in any of the above-mentioned scenarios, you can consider getting a divorce. Don’t let your marriage pull you down. If you stay in a troubled relationship, it may have further negative consequences on your physical and mental health, and most importantly your children. The above-mentioned signs will help you understand more about your marital situation. Getting divorced is a personal decision. Ensure you make it in the right frame of your mind, lest you should regret taking this step for the rest of your life.